Elevating Our Marriage Through Emotional Intimacy: A Year of Deepening Connection
As the new year begins, my husband and I are dedicated, again, to focusing on something that often gets pushed to the back-burner amidst the chaos of parenting, work, and daily life: our marriage. More specifically, we’re aiming to elevate it by deepening our emotional intimacy.
It’s easy to get caught up in the logistics of life—who’s picking up the kids, what’s for dinner, or what’s next on the to-do list. But, we both know that without nurturing the emotional connection between us, everything else falls short.So, this year, we’re intentionally setting aside time and energy to nurture our bond at the core—the place where vulnerability, trust, and deep connection live.
What is Emotional Intimacy?
Before diving into how we’re creating emotional intimacy in our marriage, let’s first talk about what it actually means. For us, emotional intimacy is about more than just saying “I love you” or giving each other a quick hug at the end of the day. It’s about creating a space where we both feel safe to be vulnerable, to share our deepest fears, dreams, and struggles without judgment.
It’s also about being seen and heard for who we truly are—beyond the roles of parents, employees, and everything else we juggle. We wanted to get to a place where we can talk about the things that matter most to us as individuals, not just as partners or parents. This emotional connection is foundational for a healthy, thriving marriage, and we’re committed to making it a priority this year.
How We’ve Started These Conversations
Setting Aside Dedicated Time
The biggest shift for us has been making time on purpose for deeper conversations. Life is busy, and it’s easy to let meaningful talks slip through the cracks. We’ve started setting aside specific time during the week—sometimes it’s after the kids go to bed, other times it’s on a quiet weekend morning—where we can just focus on each other and talk, without distractions. It’s easy to forget how powerful just a few uninterrupted minutes of conversation can be.
Creating a Judgment-Free Zone
For emotional intimacy to thrive, we both need to feel like we can speak openly about anything—without fear of judgment or defensiveness. We’ve actively worked on creating a space where both of us feel comfortable sharing our vulnerabilities, our fears, and our insecurities. This means listening as much as we’re talking, being genuinely curious about each other’s feelings, and showing empathy when the other person is struggling. It’s not about fixing each other’s problems (although we both want to help!), it’s about truly understanding and supporting one another.
Talking About Hopes, Dreams, and Fears
Beyond the everyday “how was your day?” conversations, we’ve started to open up about our personal dreams—big and small. We’ve discussed where we see ourselves in 5 or 10 years, what we want to achieve individually and as a couple, and the fears we may have about the future. We’ve also been talking about our childhood experiences, and how they’ve shaped the way we show up in our marriage. These conversations have been surprisingly powerful and have given us both a new perspective on each other.
Being Fully Present
For emotional intimacy to grow, we’ve realized that we need to be fully present with one another. This means putting down the phones, turning off the TV, and focusing on the person across from us. Whether it’s through eye contact, physical touch, or just actively listening, we’ve made a conscious effort to be fully engaged in our conversations. This intentional focus helps us feel more connected and emotionally attuned to one another.
What We Will Continue Doing This Year
While this is just the tip of the iceberg, the year has really just began, we plan to keep these practices in mind—and find new ways to foster emotional intimacy in our marriage.
Regular Check-Ins
We’re making it a habit to check in with each other regularly about how we’re feeling in our relationship—emotionally, mentally, and physically. Whether it’s about our individual needs or things that could improve in our marriage, these “check-ins” will help us stay on the same page. It’s a space where we can air out any concerns, express gratitude, and make sure we’re both feeling loved and supported.
Making Vulnerability a Priority
We’ve committed to keeping vulnerability at the forefront of our relationship. As a couple, it’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and forget to show our true selves. So, we’re making it a priority to share more openly about our struggles, our fears, and the things we’re learning as individuals. By staying vulnerable with one another, we believe our bond will continue to strengthen.
Planning “Connection Dates”
We’re taking a page out of the “date night” handbook, but with a twist: our goal is to have “connection dates” where we don’t focus on the usual dinner-and-movie routine. Instead, we’re going to plan activities that help us deepen our conversations and bond emotionally. Whether it’s taking a walk and talking about life or having a quiet dinner without distractions, these connection dates will help us stay emotionally aligned.
Supporting Each Other’s Growth
A key component of emotional intimacy is not just knowing each other’s fears and dreams, but actively supporting each other’s growth. We’re both committed to helping the other person grow—whether it’s in our personal careers, as parents, or as individuals in our own right. This mutual support strengthens the foundation of trust in our marriage, and allows us to celebrate each other’s successes while working through struggles together.
Why Emotional Intimacy Matters
As we begin this journey of focusing on emotional intimacy, we know it’s not a quick fix or something that happens overnight. It’s a continuous process of building trust, staying vulnerable, and being fully present with one another. But the rewards are worth it. When we take the time to connect emotionally, we’re not just strengthening our marriage, we’re also showing our kids what a healthy, loving relationship looks like. We’re modeling how to communicate openly, support one another’s dreams, and love without hesitation.
So, here’s to a year of deep conversations, vulnerability, and emotional connection. We’re in this together—hand in hand, heart to heart.
If you’re also focusing on strengthening your marriage this year, I’d love to hear your thoughts on emotional intimacy. How do you and your partner stay connected on a deeper level? Drop a comment below and let’s continue this conversation!
XX, Kelleen
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