Hot Take: Substitute Teacher Addition

This Might Be a Hot Take… But Not Every Kid Should Get the Trophy

Alright—buckle up. Because this one might ruffle a few feathers, but I’m saying it anyway:

Not every kid should get the trophy.

Yep, I said it.

fter spending the fourth quarter teaching first grade, I’ve got a fresh perspective on what kids really need—and spoiler alert: it’s not constant praise or participation medals. It’s accountability, guidance, and a little tough love- when necessary.

My Classroom Wake-Up Call

Walking into that first-grade classroom, I was prepared to teach reading, math, and maybe diffuse a meltdown or two. What I wasn’t quite prepared for was the emotional rollercoaster that came with trying to manage 18 different little personalities—all of whom wanted attention, praise, and rewards. Constantly.

And trust me, I tried. Day after day, I racked my brain trying to make every student feel seen, successful, and supported.

But one thing became crystal clear real quick:

You can’t please everyone—and you shouldn’t try to.

The Reward System That *Almost* Worked

The classroom I was placed in had a reward system I actually liked: students earned tickets for exceptional behavior. I’m talking about being leaders in the hallway, helping a friend without being asked, or going above and beyond when the teacher needed a hand. Tickets = recognition for effort.

It worked—at first.

Kids were excited. They tried harder. They modeled good behavior.

But then came the tears.

The moment Johnny got a ticket, you better believe three other kids were suddenly sobbing because they were doing the same thing—or so they claimed. And suddenly, I was faced with the classic dilemma:

“Do I give everyone a ticket just to stop the crying… or do I hold the line?”

And if you know me, then you know which I choose...

Hard Truth: Not Everyone Gets Rewarded All the Time

Here's the thing—we all want to believe our kids are amazing (and they are!). But we also have to acknowledge that not every good deed deserves a gold star. If we hand out prizes just for showing up, we water down the meaning of real achievement.

Rewards should be earned.
Not demanded.
Not expected.
Earned.

That’s how we raise resilient kids. That’s how we prepare them for a world that doesn’t hand out trophies for breathing.

Why It Matters

When we reward everyone for everything, we take the power out of positive reinforcement. The kid who actually went out of their way to help clean up the classroom? Their reward feels meaningless if five other students got one just for following directions.

And guess what?

That’s not how real life works.

In the real world, effort doesn’t always equal reward. You don’t get a raise just because you showed up. You get recognized for going above and beyond. That’s what we should be teaching our kids.

What Our Kids Really Need

We love our kids—that’s a given. But love doesn’t mean shielding them from disappointment. It means preparing them for reality. It means teaching them that sometimes, someone else might get the trophy—and that doesn’t mean you failed. It just means your moment is still ahead.

Let’s stop pretending everyone wins all the time. Let’s start encouraging our kids to:

* Try harder

* Support others without expecting a reward

* Celebrate someone else’s win without taking it personally

That’s the kind of mindset that sets them up for success—not entitlement.

So yeah—this might be a hot take. But I stand by it.
Not every kid should get the trophy.
And that’s not mean.
That’s not unfair. 
That’s life.

Let’s raise strong, capable, emotionally resilient kids who know the value of hard work, persistence, and kindness—not because it earns them a sticker, but because it shapes who they are.

Want more real-life takes on parenting, teaching, and life in the chaos?

Stick around. I’m just getting started.

XX, Kelleen