Kick It To the Curb
- Kelleen
- Apr 9
- 4 min read
Why Mom Guilt is Real (And How to Kick It to the Curb)If there’s one thing that comes with being a mom, it’s guilt.
Oh yes, the infamous mom guilt — that feeling that constantly nags at you, telling you that you’re never doing enough, that you're failing in some way, or that you're not living up to an impossible standard. Whether you're a first-time mom or a seasoned pro, that guilt seems to creep in from every direction.
But here's the truth: Mom guilt is real. And it can be overwhelming.The truth is, we live in a world that constantly holds up these unattainable standards for mothers — we’re expected to be everything to everyone, to be perfect, and to juggle it all with a smile. But here’s the catch: No one is perfect, and that includes us, moms. It’s time to let go of unrealistic expectations and embrace the beautiful, messy, imperfect reality of motherhood.
The Pressure of Perfection
The pressure to be the “perfect” mom is something that starts early — from the moment we first hold our babies in our arms. There’s an invisible checklist that seems to haunt every mom: breastfeed (and do it for as long as humanly possible), cook healthy meals, keep a spotless house, make sure your kids are always happy and well-behaved, and oh yeah, make sure you’re doing it all with grace and a sense of calm.
Does this sound familiar? Because trust me, it’s exhausting.
And here's the kicker: It’s also unrealistic.You can’t do everything, and you sure as heck can’t do it all perfectly. And that’s okay.
Read that part again mama, YOU CAN'T DO EVERYTHING. And THAT'S OKAY!!
Why Mom Guilt Exists
Mom guilt comes from the belief that we’re somehow falling short of these expectations, whether they’re self-imposed or placed on us by society. It’s the internal dialogue that tells us we’re not enough, that we’re not doing enough, and that we should be doing more. The constant comparison to other moms (especially those seemingly "put-together" moms on Instagram) only makes things worse.
It’s easy to think everyone else has it all figured out. But the reality? Everyone is struggling in some way. And everyone is doing the best they can.
Letting Go of Unrealistic Expectations
Okay, so we’ve established that mom guilt is real, but here’s the game-changer: We don’t have to listen to it.
Here’s how we can kick that guilt to the curb and embrace the imperfect, beautiful chaos of motherhood:
1. Set Realistic Expectations
First things first: Let go of the idea that you need to do it all. Perfection is a myth, and trying to live up to it only leads to frustration. Instead, set realistic, achievable goals for yourself. If you don’t have time to make homemade dinners every night, that’s okay. Grab a rotisserie chicken and call it a win. If your house is a little cluttered, that's perfectly fine. As long as your kids are loved, fed, and safe, that’s all that really matters.
2. Focus on What Truly Matters
Take a step back and think about what’s really important to you. Is it making sure your kids are well-behaved 24/7, or is it nurturing their confidence and letting them express themselves? Is it having a perfectly clean home, or is it spending quality time together as a family? Once you identify your core values and priorities, it becomes much easier to let go of the things that don’t matter as much.
3. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Let’s be honest: we’ve all scrolled through Instagram and thought, How does she do it all? But remember, people post their highlights, not their behind-the-scenes. It’s easy to assume everyone else has it together, but the truth is, we’re all facing our own struggles. So, stop comparing. Focus on your own journey and trust that you’re doing the best you can.
4. Give Yourself Grace
Sometimes, you’re going to have bad days. Maybe the kids don’t listen, you snap at your partner, or you forget to pack the lunchbox. It happens. And guess what? That’s okay.
Motherhood is a journey, not a destination. You don’t have to be perfect every day. Give yourself grace and permission to make mistakes. What matters most is how you show up, even when you don’t have it all together.
5. Ask for Help
You don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s leaning on your partner, asking for help from a friend or family member, or hiring a sitter so you can have some time to yourself — asking for help doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. And taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your family.
6. Celebrate the Small Wins
Moms, we need to start celebrating the small victories. Did you make it through the day without a meltdown? That’s a win. Did you manage to cook a meal everyone actually ate? Victory! Did you manage to carve out 20 minutes for yourself? That’s progress! Celebrate those little moments, because they all add up.
Embracing Imperfection
Let’s stop holding ourselves to an impossible standard. Motherhood is messy, beautiful, and full of ups and downs. It’s about showing up, even on the hard days, and doing the best we can with what we have. You are enough, just as you are. And if you ever feel like you’re failing, remember that the fact that you’re trying, loving, and showing up for your kids every day means you’re already winning.
So, let’s kick that mom guilt to the curb. Embrace the imperfections, give yourself grace, and focus on what truly matters: love, laughter, and the memories you’re creating along the way.
You’ve got this, mama.
XX, Kelleen
תגובות