Inflamed Heart and Stuff

If you follow me in "real" life, then you would know that just before the start of the New Year, I took a trip to the ER due to some pretty scary stuff. I had been awoken by the feeling like there was an elephant on my chest and I was unable to breathe. As the early morning continued, I felt like what could only be explained as, breathing as if I had smoked a pack of menthols a day for 50 years, while running a marathon in the arctic. It was terrifying not knowing what was going on, and anything heart related is terrifying when you consider my family history. (My grandfather passed away due to heart failure when I was 17, my sister-in-law passed away from heart failure in 2020 and my son had open-heart-surgery in 2022). Fortunately, I was lucky enough, and left with the diagnosis of Pericarditis. Along with my new treatment plan, and anti-inflammatory medication, I left with so much more...

While I was vacationing in the ER, I found myself reevaluating where my energy has been spent and where my focus needed to be readjusted to. I know I’ve said it before and I’m confident that it’ll be said a million times more, but damn, how did I get so lucky? So lucky to have the support of such amazing friends and family that would make the movies jealous.

I found myself in a come to Jesus moment and maybe not the kind you’d necessarily expect...

I found myself relishing in the comfort I felt in having my husband and mom by my side. In the knowing that my parents woke up from a phone call from my husband and arrived in a sprint like fashion that could only be contributed to vehicular speed above posted limits. In knowing that my sons were safe and cared for by my dad, who was eagerly awaiting a diagnosis and treatment plan. I felt comfort in having our neighbor turned bestie, talking through everything with my husband before, during, and after as well as dropping everything and coming over to check my vitals and encourage us to take the trip to the ER. I felt encouraged knowing that my brother was concerned and actually gave a shit about me and what I was going through.

It can be so hard to find your people, but damn, how did I get so lucky??

While I am and always will be a, the more the merrier, type of person, I owe it to my tribe to recommit my focus to them and to never take them for granted. 

During the holidays, it can be hard not think about what you are missing out on, whether it be people or things. To find yourself wishing for more or wishing for what you don't have... But when you put your focus on people who have walked away, or things that you cannot control, rather than all that you have to be thankful | grateful | blessed with, you are missing out on all that your beautiful life is offering you! 

Do not let the unreachable or unattainable, the unreliable or unnecessary ruin your relationships with your tribe and family. 

Instead, focus on the people who you have around you, the ones who appreciate you and respect you. The people who match the love you give, the people who empower you and encourage your growth. Who wish the best for you, always, and make your life, beautiful! You're surrounded by those who will not shy away from the love you give and all you have to offer. You're surrounded by people who want to be a part of your life and who see value in your friendship. 

Do not lose touch of what you have, by chasing what you no longer do. 
Do not lose touch of what you have, by what you wish you had.

Instead, open your heart and yourself, to the world and allow for all of life's blessings, to fill that space with the kinds of people, the kinds of moments, and the kinds of experiences that exhilarate you! That compel you and encourage you! That make you love yourself and your life, and all that you have to offer, day after day. 

Life is beautiful, and there is so much to be 
thankful | grateful | blessed for!

To my tribe, I love you and thank you for always being there for me! For always looking out for me and wishing me the best. For walking through life with me and laughing every step of the way! 

Take care of your hearts, and yourselves mamas!

XO, Kelleen