Kids say the darnedest things... don't they?!
Before I became a parent, I remember laughing and joking with my brother about all the funny and "bad" words, that I couldn't wait to introduce to our future nieces and nephews. We would poke back and forth about all the funny and wild things we could see our future littles repeating! My parents also have shared a story about some friends that they had, that would take turns watching each other's kiddos, so that they could go out and have a date night. While each friend took turns watching the children, they would teach the kids funny sayings, for them to repeat. One time, one of the kids was at the grocery store with their mama and looked at the cashier and said, "mommy is a boozer," something that they had learned from the family friend. The story continues about how embarrassed she was and how everyone died laughing at the "lessons" coming back full circle. It really was so harmless and silly, and something we talk about all the time!
But when does our little mockingbirds bite us in the ass??I can't be the only parent who has found themselves in a situation where your kiddo has repeated something, whether you've said it in the past or from a TV show, or what have you, and you are flabbergasted and a little embarrassed. Or how about you said something about someone else and your sweet child repeats it to said person- so embarrassing!!
Fortunately for me, I have found myself to be on the other side of things more times than not. I have the opportunity to be immersed into the lives of many children; my nieces and nephews, my friends' children who become my own, students that I teach within the classroom, teammates from Finley's soccer team, etc. and I swear, I hear the wildest things! A student in a third-grade class had talked to me after I had proctored a test, he was interested in hearing about my tattoos (if you don't know, I have a full arm sleeve and a tattoo on my collarbone that are oftentimes visible and a few others that aren't) and the meaning behind them. After I had finished sharing about my sleeve, representing my loved ones, he said "well my dad believes that people that have tattoo's are going to go to hell." I remember responding with saying along the lines of "I have heard that myself, but for me personally, I have a different relationship with God. But I respect his opinion."
It was not my place to persuade him one way or another. It wasn't my place to remind him that words can be triggering and hurt someone's feelings. I just wanted him to feel respected and to know that people can have differing opinions without going over the top, as I would want my children to experience themselves. Or another precious child in my life who was talking to me about a hammock that they have. And I had asked if they ever got to sit and play in it, and they had responded that they aren't allowed to. I had said, "man it looks like so much fun, I would love to try," and this sweet child responded with, "well you can't because you're too big." And I said "what?" And they continued on to say, "you are too fat, you have got to stop eating so much junk and need to work out." The relationship I have with said child is very close and I know what he is saying is much like a mockingbird. These statements and responses are not something that they came up with on their own, in fact I have heard similar statements from their parents, regarding me and others. This exact scenario happens quite often when we are around them. In fact, during a holiday celebration, this same sweet child walked over to me and asked, "why are you so fat?" And I remember feeling very uncomfortable because I didn't want them to get in trouble for saying something that they may not realize hurts another person, but I certainly didn't want them to repeat this question to someone else.
Because of my relationship with said child, I can handle it. I expect to be bullied and criticized by this child and their parents and the statements being made don't affect me as much as they have in the past, but I cannot say that those statements wouldn't affect another person. In fact, I strongly believe that no child or person for that matter, should ever say those things to another. Everyone is built differently, everyone has things going on, that others are unaware of, and those kinds of rude and mean comments shouldn't be said. I also don't believe that young children should have to worry about things like being fat or being ugly or any other type of insecurity.
Children have their whole adulthood to worry about what they look like, so there is no reason that pre-school aged children, need to be worried about who is fat and why. This post is not a poor me post. This post is not a badgering post or a bad parent post.
This post is a reminder that our children are always listening.
Our children are sponges and what we say, they are repeating. What we say to ourselves, they will repeat to themselves. What we say about others, dictates how they feel and ultimately how they treat, others. How we interact with others, is how they interact with others. Mockingbird.While our children learn the way of the world, they are also learning language skills, it is a typical part of child development. I ask that you speak kindly to your children and speak kindly to others. Be the example you wish for your child to emulate. And always encourage your children to be kind and loving to every person they meet!
XO, Kelleen
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