As I have navigated each season of motherhood, from the moment the two-pink lines appeared to today, when we took our two, wild children to the jumping place, I am reminded of words-of-wisdom, my father has shared, that has transformed my thought process when it comes to raising my children.
One of the most underrated sayings, that my dad has shared with me since the beginning of time, or so it feels, has been, what you say to your children, what you say about your children- becomes your children.
If you tell your child that they are destined to be in the jailhouse rock, that they are destined to a life behind bars, nine times out of ten, your child will do just that. If you tell your child that they are the smartest, kindest, kid there is, they will be just that, the smartest and kindest kid. Of course, within reason.
The way we speak to our children, becomes their inner voice.
Have you ever thought of the responsibility that that entails?
I think we all know that our words, the words spoken, cannot be taken back. When you self-reflect, about all the words you've spoken to your children, it is imperative that we remind ourselves that what is said today, they will hear for the rest of their life. Seems heavy, huh? Imagine your children walking around with their air-pods in, listening to these words spoken by you, over and over again.
It is important that as parents, as mothers, they we are intentional about the way we talk to our children. To give our children the outcomes we all desire for them.
If you are hopeful in changing the way you talk to your children, please know that intentional spoken words, takes practice. It takes intention. You can't say you want to talk to more positively to your children and wake up the next morning doing so. You have to know what it is that you are wanting to breathe into them, and plan accordingly.
Like anything, changing your talking patterns can be hard, but your reason, the thing that is pushing you to give your best effort to your children, will be your why.
It may seem silly to ask why we should be talking respectfully and positively to our children, but if we really dive deep, there are so many positives that leave a lifetime of influence.
The way we talk to our children is going to influence them for their entire lifetime. The way we talk to our children will not only have influence on our children, but our future grandchildren and generations that follow. The way we talk to our children will influence our legacy; influence the way we are remembered after the words we have spoken is all that is left of us outside of a tombstone.
When we speak highly into our children, we are building stronger bonds and stronger relationships. Everyone wants to know that they are loved and valued, everyone wants to know that their parents are their cheerleaders, those spoken words make our children feel worthy! The fact that what we speak into our children becomes their inner voice should be enough reason within itself, but the fact that we earn their respect and trust certainly doesn't hurt! All we want for our children is for them to be the very best version of themselves, to see the people we know they can be and to fulfill those fruitions, lets help build their self-esteem, speak confidence into them and allow them to imitate our inner voice.
It has been said that we can be our own worst enemy, and when you get to the bottom of it, the real enemy is our self-talk. Our self-talk comes from what we were exposed to as children and continuously exposed ourselves to during day-to-day life. We are environMENTALLY affected and like our children, absorb much of what we are surrounded by. We want our children to have the most positive self-talk possible, what about your inner voice? That voice should be just as positive and cheerful as the voice you are sharing with your littles.
We need to be more intentional about the way we talk to our children, but also how others talk to our children. We can only control the words we share, so our kids will need to be resilient. I think it is important that we equally focus on how we can be intentional about positively impacting our children with our talk. Life is hard. Guaranteed. Regardless of the spoon you hold, life can and will be hard. How our children perceive said hardness can be positively influenced by us and the teachings we share today. If we know that the way we talk to our child becomes their inner voice, we can be intentional about planting positive phrases that are supportive during those inevitably hard times. Statements full of positivity and confidence.
I am in no means a professional, but I do strongly believe in the use of affirmations with our children. I strongly believe that I am the person I am today because of the words my parents spoke to me, over me, and with me. I have seen first-hand the negative effects of negative talk to children, and I’ll be the first to say that I am in no means perfect in this practice, but I try every damn day to speak positively to my children. I have shared previously about affirmations that I share with my son, Finley, on the way to school each and every day, you can read that post here…. I hope you too come up with words of affirmations that you can share with your children. That you can implement in your everyday life. Your children today, the adults they become, and the parents they will be, thank you.
If we use affirmations and are intentional about the way we speak to our children, our children will in turn have the positive self-talk when they are adults themselves. The way we talk to our children is worth the effort and more!
You’re doing great mama!
XO, Kelleen
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