Don't Take It, ALL, Personally

I can't be the only one, when told to "not take it personally", still finds myself, "taking it personally." Like dang, how often do we find ourselves having to swallow the behaviors, words, and reactions of others, as personal pills of reward or rejection??

And when it comes to pulling from the medicine cabinet of motherhood, we compromise our self-esteem and worth, each and every time, we take the behavior of our kiddos personally.

If your motherhood journey is anything like mine, I find myself in a pattern of not just polka dots and stripes, but rather: when they make good choice, speak kindly, and follow the rules, we take the positive experience as personal affirmations that we are on track of being nominated as a "good mom", doing this motherhood gig right. But then an hour goes by, and our little monsters are acting out, disrespecting us or our spouse, and we perceive this negative behavior as an affirmation that we do in fact, belong on the bad mom hall of fame, which induces shame, masked with anger, sadness, embarrassment, etc. 

As mothers, we are on a never-ending ride, of the red-apple colored see-saw, that doesn't allow us to move forward one inch, rather the only direction we find ourselves going is up and down. And then itching for the motherhood fix, of a well-mannered child, the perfect child we know them to be, to feel good.

In the end, when we take things personally, we are diminishing our self-love and creating a false self-perception. And babe, it isn't just us! Because what are we teaching those little eyes watching us? To measure their true value and worth, based solely on how this broken world treats them? Come on now sister, we don't want that for our precious angels… 

As the parents of our children, we know our children's behavior is much more a reflection of who they are: insecure little people, trying to find their place in this big, big world. When we meet them where they are at, we are making our love, care, and concern for them, personal instead. 

Deciding not to take your teenage daughter’s eye-rolling, scoffing, or disobedience personally this morning, means that she will not carry forward, the added burden of your negative reaction. The continued inner peace in you carries you through your day, making a stress-free experience for all around you. When evening comes, the lack of tensions at home helps everyone have a good night's rest, and come morning, each person in your family can start their new day, feeling refreshed and ready to face the world. 

With just one agreement, by one individual, in one moment of time, comes the power to change countless lives via the ripple effect.

Although I still find myself learning how to perfect, parenting my little guys, I know that life will continue to teach me. Continue to show me how I can best prepare my boys to become men. The type of men we all wish to have more of in this world. And while I may feel like I aced it today, I have no doubt that tomorrow, I will find myself, taking two steps forward, and five steps back, along the tight rope of parenting two wild boys.

But today, I am proud of not taking my three-year old’s tantrum to heart, and know that my boy is just feeling the tiredness of a hot, busy, summer day!

XO mamas,

Kelleen