Enough is Enough

The Year I Learned to Stop Giving More Than I Receive

This year, one of the clearest lessons I learned was the importance of not giving so much of myself to people who won’t and don’t do the same for me. 

It sounds simple, doesn’t it?

Yet, it’s something that’s taken me years to finally understand.

Year after year, I’ve found myself giving more than I was receiving, hoping for mutual understanding, for reciprocity, for effort. But instead, I found myself drained, disappointed, and burned out. This year, I got burned—not just once, but repeatedly—and it has finally clicked.

I’ve always been someone who values connection and deep relationships. I believe in showing up for others, being there when people need me, and offering my support without hesitation. But somewhere along the way, I’ve learned the hard way, that not everyone values or reciprocates that level of care. It’s easy to see the best in others, to hope that maybe, just maybe, this time things will be different. But after years of the same cycle—giving and giving, only to receive little in return—I’ve reached my limit.

The Cycle I Couldn't Break

I’ve had this conversation with myself many times before. I’d tell my friends, my family, my loved ones that “this is it,” that I would stop giving so much of myself to people who didn’t show up for me in the same way. But every year, I’d fall back into the same pattern. I’d convince myself that this time would be different, that people would change, or that I could just give a little more to make up for what wasn’t being returned.

But this year—this year was different.

This year, I got burned in a way that left no room for doubt. I felt the weight of it all: the unreciprocated energy, the one-sided efforts, the emotional labor that no one else seemed to notice or appreciate. I finally understood what it meant to give too much, to give when it was clear that the other person wasn’t willing to meet me halfway.

The Moment It Clicked

It didn’t come all at once. It came in waves—small moments where I realized just how much I was giving without ever getting back what I needed. A message left unanswered for days, a favor done that was never acknowledged, a piece of myself given away with no return. And each time it happened, I felt a little more exhausted, a little more empty. I knew I couldn’t keep doing this to myself.

The pivotal moment came when I realized that this pattern wasn’t about me being “too much” or “too giving.” It was about people not being willing to meet me where I was. It was about my time, energy, and love being taken for granted. And for the first time, I had to admit that I was letting it happen. I was letting myself be burned over and over again because I thought if I gave just a little more, if I showed up just a little harder, then maybe, just maybe, the relationship would finally be reciprocal.

But no. This time, I saw the truth. I saw the patterns for what they were: signs that I wasn’t getting the respect or effort I deserved.

Setting Boundaries for My Own Peace

I made a choice. I decided that I would stop giving more than I received. I wouldn’t let myself get burned anymore. I wouldn’t pour my heart, time, or energy into relationships that weren’t willing to return the same. If you’re not willing to meet me where I’m at, if you’re not putting in the same effort, then I’m not going to keep offering myself up. It’s not about being cold or selfish—it’s about preserving my own peace, my own energy, and my own self-worth.

I’ve come to realize that mutual respect is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If I’m giving all of myself to someone who doesn’t show up for me in return, I’m setting myself up for disappointment, resentment, and burnout. It’s taken me a long time to get here, but I now understand that my love, my time, and my care are valuable. I deserve to be loved and cared for in equal measure.

What I’m Taking with Me into the New Year

As we close out this year and look toward the next, I’m carrying with me a sense of clarity and self-awareness that I’ve never had before. 

I’ve learned to trust myself, to know when enough is enough, and to walk away when it’s clear that my efforts won’t be reciprocated. This year, I will no longer give from an empty cup. I won’t give more than I receive, and I won’t give to people who don’t honor my time, energy, and love.

This year, I choose balance. I choose reciprocity. I choose relationships that lift me up, not drain me. I choose to protect my peace, my energy, and my heart from being worn down by people who don’t show the same care in return.

So to everyone who has been a part of my journey, thank you for the lessons. You’ve shown me who you are, and I’ve seen enough. I won’t repeat the same patterns again. This year, I’m giving less to those who give less—and giving more to those who show up for me in the same way that I show up for them. That’s the way love, friendship, and connection should work—and it’s the standard I’ll hold myself to moving forward.

Here's to a new year where I finally give only as much as I receive.

XX, Kelleen