At the beginning of the year, I shared my thoughts on moving in silence.
I shared how, as I have grown and experienced more of life, that I have a compound love for consideration before posting, sharing, and/or discussing. Furthermore, I shared about discernment, and the key to knowing when silence is the best strategy for moving forward or screaming from the mountain tops is needed. I closed the post by sharing my a final thought, there is a certain level of peace and serenity in silence, in knowing for yourself and within yourself first. And booooyyy do I have some thoughts to share today.
If we backtrack for a moment, you may or may not be privy to the fact that my husband was in a motocross accident. Due to the severity of the accident, my parents, took to social media and created a Go Fund Me account. The account was created with the hopes of support and donations towards our mountainous medical bills that we have accumulated, and the household bills that were previously taken care of by my husband and his career, that are now upon my shoulders, as a per diem, substitute teacher. The level of pride that we have pushed to the side, with announcing, publicly and vulnerably, about needing and asking for help is huge, and if you know us, then you know we are not ones to ask for assistance- let alone financially.
Please, don’t use privileged information that is shared with you as a manipulation tactic or as a dig. I will be the first to admit that opening yourself up publicly, in a situation such as this, opens the door for critics of all sorts. For wondering eyes and nosy bitches. For those laughing at your shortcomings and pushing for further anguish, and all the nastiness in-between. But there is also beauty in the shit ton of love and support that may not otherwise be felt and given had the vulnerability not been shared.
I am not living behind rose colored glasses and was prepared for any and all backlash that we were to face, but that does not mean that I am not taken avback by close friends and loved ones, using shared, vulnerable information, against me and my family.The information that I have shared personally with my close friends and loved one is not meant to be used against me or used to belittle me. Sharing something that you’re going through, especially when in a tough spot and being open and vulnerable and then having those vulnerabilities used against you, for lack of a better word, sucks. When I love, I love hard, and I love my tribe so damn hard. When asked, I am quick to respond with truth and vulnerability because I love them and would expect the same from them, if the shoe was on the other foot, but when those truths and those responses to questions are later used against me or used to discredit me, it makes me wonder why the hell you a part of my tribe are to begin with.
A lot of people choose to not be vulnerable with their friends and loved ones and you are the prime example as to why.Using my vulnerability against me, especially with something I shared publicly, is never in good taste. I already shared it publicly babe- your misguided anger and resentment in your own life, isn’t going to be healed just by bashing me. Promise.
All this is to say, it's the ones closest to you, that hurt you the most.
The one's you least expected to hurt you, that does so and does so, so deeply.
If you need me, I'll be busy hustling for my family and refocusing this love and light.
XO, Kelleen
*Oh, and here is our GoFundMe link if you are interested in donating or sharing. We appreciate the love and support!! https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-after-motocross-accident?member=32364369&utm_campaign=p_lico+share-sheet&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook
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