Ah shit, here we go again

You know that sound, “ah shit, here we go again”…

Well, it’s about that time where we go around the hamster wheel once again, and obviously I am obligated to spell it all out here.

It always starts out with being lashed out at, saying things that I hope to goodness aren’t actually meant, rather just speaking on behalf of the hurt turned hate. The actions of which I always find myself surprised about, but like why? After eight years, when does the behavior become less shocking? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am not surprised that the hamster wheel is turning again, but enduring another round of toxic familiar relations just never seems to cease to amaze me. I can acknowledge that the “start” of this round, we can call it round eight for eight years, comes from the layer of anger and hate that lies deep-rooted within the unhealed wounds, not the superficial eruption that pinpoints the date in time.

This phenomenon of hurt people, hurt people, is a viscous cycle that perpetuates negativity and discord in all aspects of life, and when faced with it yet again, it feels like I am on the outside watching in.

Let’s get down to the root of this hate.

When we harbor hate in our hearts, we unconsciously replicate that hurt that was inflicted upon us onto others. It is a defense mechanism, a way of deflecting our own, unresolved pain, towards someone else. The anger and negativity we express towards others are often a reflection of the hurt we carry within ourselves. Understating this cycle is crucial in breaking free from this destructive pattern.

The key to breaking the cycle of hurt people hurting people, is by addressing and healing our own wounds. By acknowledging the pain, we carry and actively working towards healing- to prevent the pain from manifesting as hate towards others. This process of introspection and self-care is essential in preventing the perpetuation of hurt in our relationships and communities.

And this is where I find myself.

I find myself healed. At bay with the wounds that have since scarred over from the previous joy rides. I think it goes without saying, but we cannot force or even make others, seek healing. We can’t enforce self-growth and reflection onto others, but what we can do, is use it as a breeding ground for us to continue to grow. For us to seek resolution within ourselves while acknowledging that this is a one-sided resolve. To look at the scenario from the outside looking in and acknowledge that although the situation comes from a place of hurt, that this hate is coming from within themselves, not us. That this hate and anger is displaced from their mistreatment from others, and rather than becoming healed and finding their peace from within, they are stuck on their hurt.

To break the cycle of hurt people hurting people, we must cultivate empathy and compassion towards ourselves and others. By recognizing that hurt individuals are more likely to cause harm, we can approach conflicts with understanding rather than retaliation.

Empathy is a powerful tool in shifting the narrative from hate to healing, fostering connection and reconciliation amidst pain.

Although challenging, this time, I find myself in a state of understanding. Understanding that this perpetuated hate and anger, this discord of familiar relations, although extremely frustrating and disheartening, is another cry for help. To think that something so “silly” such as this, has turned into such a “war” can only mean that their hurt turned hate is overwhelming to them. That the control they are lacking elsewhere, is being displaced and used aggressively towards another party gives us insight into their pain. Into how they may be feeling within the relationships they share with others. Rather than healing from their pain, they are using what is being used against them, on us. Maybe this is incoherently being done, but I find that the treatment I am receiving, that we are receiving, looks like an exact replica to what they are enduring, the difference being the response.

As individuals, we have the power to break the cycle of hurt by choosing forgiveness and empathy over resentment and anger. By seeking healing for our own wounds, we can prevent the cycle of hurt from continuing through us. It is through self-awareness and emotional intelligence that we can empower ourselves to transcend the pain and create a positive impact in our interactions with others.

Unaddressed hurt turns into hate, perpetuating a cycle of hurt people hurting people.

By acknowledging our pain, seeking healing, and fostering empathy, we can break free from this cycle and cultivate healthier relationships. Remember, hurt individuals are more likely to cause harm, but through self-awareness and compassion, we can transform pain into growth and understanding.

Let us choose healing over hate, empathy over anger, and break the cycle of hurt one step at a time.

In a world where hurt is prevalent, let us be the agents of change and healing.

Together, we can create a more compassionate and understanding environment for ourselves and those around us. Remember, hurt people hurt people, but healed people can heal others.

Hang in there my loves, we are in this together!

Signed, Kelleen