The Year of an Elevated Marriage

Elevating My Marriage: Cultivating Deeper Connection and Joy

This time last year, I shared a blog post called "Marriage on a Monday":

"For some, there is a word for the year, a touchstone—a trigger of awareness and a sense of purpose. For me, I think rather than dedicate a whole year to one word, I would rather focus a word on my marriage.

If having a word for the year is good, wouldn't it be just as beneficial for your marriage?

And the best part is, it doesn't have to be chosen at the start of the new year. No, you can pick and choose whenever, wherever!

This could be a meaningful conversation between you and your partner. Perhaps it’s triggered by a significant date, like the birth of a child or the anniversary of your first date. It can be an excellent way to take the pulse of your relationship and determine where each of you feels your marriage is strong, and in which areas it could be stronger."

DELIBERATE

In the year 2024, my husband and I focused on being deliberate within our marriage.

To have an intentional marriage, where we are consciously and deliberately maintaining and continuing to build our connection.

As we ended the year with my husband turning 30, we spent an evening reflecting on the years past—the way our relationship and marriage has evolved in the 13 Christmases we've shared, the triumphs and tribulations we've endured together. There was such a spark of excitement as we verbally strolled through the last year together.

Collectively, being intentional and focusing on being deliberate with one another and our marriage proved to be very powerful! There is a distinct advantage in dedicating a word and focus to unite us for the coming year—an objective that is both easily achievable and thrilling to explore.

A New Year, A New Word

Marriage, like any meaningful relationship, takes work. It’s not about simply “getting by” or coasting through the years, but about continuously nurturing the connection you share with your partner. Over time, it's easy for life’s daily demands—careers, children, financial stress, or even just the routines of everyday life—to create distance or complacency in a marriage. However, the beauty of a lasting partnership lies in the ability to elevate it, to consciously work on growing together, and to create a deep, fulfilling bond that enhances both of your lives.

This year, we are bringing a renewed sense of purpose and joy to our marriage. We want to elevate our relationship and nurture our thriving partnership.

To elevate a marriage means to actively nurture and enhance the connection between partners by fostering emotional intimacy, mutual respect, and shared growth. It involves intentionally deepening the relationship, improving communication, maintaining romance, and supporting each other's personal development.

Elevating a marriage, to us, is about taking it beyond mere coexistence, creating a partnership that is vibrant, resilient, and continually evolving toward greater fulfillment and joy.

This definition emphasizes the intentional effort to improve the quality of the relationship, both individually and as a couple.

To Elevate…

el·e·vate (/ˈeləˌvāt/)

verb: Raise or lift (something) up to a higher position.

Within our marriage, it is important that this year, we focus on intentionally and consistently investing in the growth, connection, and well-being of both ourselves individually and together as one. It’s about deepening the emotional, physical, and intellectual bond that exists between the two of us, and elevating the relationship to a level where we both continue to feel valued, understood, and supported.

Elevating a marriage requires conscious effort, self-awareness, and a commitment to nurturing love, respect, and trust. It’s about creating a dynamic partnership that thrives on communication, empathy, and shared experiences—one that adapts and evolves as both individuals grow and change over time.

Without oversharing, at least this soon into our journey, we have been doing our own “homework” on what is involved in elevating our marriage. We've been reflecting on the kind of environment we wish to foster in our marriage moving forward and how we can best achieve the goals we've set for ourselves and our relationship.

To us, elevating a marriage involves:

Emotional Intimacy:

Fostering an environment where both partners feel safe to express their feelings, share vulnerabilities, and be fully seen and heard. This deep connection goes beyond surface-level conversations to include meaningful dialogue about each other's hopes, fears, dreams, and struggles.

Mutual Growth:

Elevating a marriage requires supporting each other’s personal growth and development. As individuals grow, so too should the relationship, allowing both partners to flourish independently while simultaneously growing together as a couple.

Quality Time and Shared Experiences:

Elevating a marriage involves spending meaningful time together, not just in routine or obligation, but through shared activities that build memories, deepen affection, and reignite passion. These experiences create opportunities for connection and bonding that go beyond the mundane aspects of life.

Respect and Appreciation:

Consistently recognizing and valuing each other's strengths, contributions, and individuality. Elevating a marriage requires both partners to regularly express gratitude for one another, acknowledging both the small and big things they do for the relationship.

Communication and Conflict Resolution:

Elevating a marriage involves learning to communicate openly and honestly, especially when navigating challenges. It means approaching conflicts not as obstacles but as opportunities to understand each other better, to compromise, and to strengthen the partnership.

Romance and Affection:

Romance doesn’t stop after the honeymoon phase. Elevating your marriage means keeping the spark alive through acts of affection, thoughtful gestures, and shared intimacy. These acts of love reinforce the emotional connection and keep the relationship vibrant.

Partnership and Teamwork:

A marriage should feel like a true partnership, where both people are equally invested in each other’s well-being and in the success of the relationship. It means supporting each other’s goals, collaborating in decision-making, and sharing both responsibilities and joys.

In essence, to elevate a marriage is to continually strive for a deeper, more fulfilling connection that enriches both partners’ lives.

As we enter our 13th year together, we can acknowledge that it’s not about perfection or never having conflicts, but about creating a relationship that grows stronger over time, grounded in mutual respect, love, and an unwavering commitment to each other’s happiness and success.

I am excited to dive deep into elevating my marriage and sharing our journey with you!

I encourage you and your spouse to have the conversation this year, to take the pulse of your relationship, and determine where each of you thinks your relationship is strong, and where it could be stronger. Then, maybe you too can focus on one area within your relationship and foster a deeper, more connected, and stronger bond moving forward.

While the possibilities are endless, and the choice should be unique to you and your relationship, I’ve shared other touchstones—triggers of awareness and a sense of purpose—in the post "Marriage on a Monday".

Here’s to a year of an ELEVATED marriage for me and mine.

XX,

Kelleen