You're depressed
I’m depressed
We're all depressed
Get the hell over it
This sentiment can come across very crass and harsh but is a staple in the Coyle household. My Poppi, my paternal grandfather, was a very successful man. He accomplished so much in his life and his accomplishments are still apparent each and everyday, even though he left our Earthside wake in 2012. As a child, there have been numerous sentiments made by my father, that can all be attributed to the great, George Coyle: "Make us proud", "Never be in a rush to spend money", "Never argue with an idiot. Not only will they bring you down to their level, but they’ll beat you with experience" - a few of my favorites.
"You're depressed. I'm depressed. We're all depressed. Get the hell over it."This reminder has been on a constant replay since what feels like the end of 2023. And I'll be damned if it isn't easier, in most cases, to play the victim, to take it as a loss and ride that wave until fate says otherwise, but you know what, I wasn't raised that way. My parents, specifically my father, did not raise victims. He raised children who grew into capable adults, adults who take the bad with the good and keep pushing, adults who overcome and succeed, but I would be lying if I said, that I haven't been rocking on the edge of this linear downhill spiral.
Murphy law says it’ll happen, and I’ll be damned if it didn’t.At the end of 2023, I found myself in the emergency room with an inflamed heart, and then, in February, my husband had a motocross accident.What makes Murphy's Law such a huge part of our story is that we had let our medical insurance lapse. My husband is an autobody technician and in his line of work, he is commission based, and a lot of the shops do not offer medical insurance, with that in mind, as a family, we have always chosen to get healthcare insurance through the "marketplace." And in theory, the concept is that you are able to get medical insurance, without going through an employer, and sometimes at a discounted rate- which for us, still wasn't something we were able to continue doing. My husband and I had sat down just prior to open enrollment, and did the numbers- between Finley's cardiologist appointments and care, our family of four's yearly exams with our doctors and of course the bi-yearly, dental appointments, my husband’s neurological care, and the miscellaneous trips to the urgent care that are bound to occur when parenting two wild boys, we came to the conclusion that we would be better off paying a cash, out-of-pocket expense versus a monthly, $1200 medical insurance where a deductible plays a huge roll. While we actively chose to for-go medical insurance, we unknowingly co-signed Murphy’s Law right alongside of it. While we stack $125k in medical bills, a broken dishwasher, a fridge that has gone out, and every end of school cost that can be fathomed, you cannot help but laugh. If I wasn't laughing, honey I'd be crawled up on the couch, depressed, while the dollar signs of our bills and costs go up, and our bank account depletes. Hey, it could be a hell of a lot worse, and I know that!
"You're depressed. I'm depressed. We're all depressed. Get the hell over it."This season of life can be coined "if it can, it will."
And while we laugh through the punches, we must remind ourselves that we have two sets of blue eyes, watching their parents day in and day out. They see us open the mountainous medical bills, and they see us pulling out the fridge and figuring out what we are going to do with all our, once frozen, freezer contents, that are now swimming in a mod podge of popsicle syrup. We have two sets of listening ears who hear us talk out our struggles as we navigate our plan moving forward, and while this is just a season of life, we are given the opportunity to show our children how to give yourself grace, but then to boss up, and handle it. Because that's what we must do, never are we to become the victim of life's shortcomings, no, we must boss up and handle it, throw a smile back on our faces, and keep it moving.
Fall down seven, stand up eight.It appears like everyone I know is going through something.
Whether it be failure of a friendship or romantic relationship, endless financial stressors and factors, health related challenges, etc, we are ALL really going through it. I'm not one to sugar coat much and today is no different, it can be hard to pull yourself afloat, when everyone around you is barely treading water themselves, but if not you, then who??
It would be naive to believe that there are quick fixes to anything in life, and anything of real worth, will necessarily, take more struggle and perseverance. Success does not equate to fast, and what is ultimately the most impactful, is that you do your best and remain persistent. While I don't want to continue down the route of broken bones and hospital bills, I do want to continue pushing forward, of showing up and making do with what's been dealt.
Setbacks are a huge part of life, and while it can be so easy to succumb to the chaos and life's wrongdoings, we must remember that baby, it can always be worse, and if not us, then who??
Hang in there babe! Brighter days are ahead, promise!!
XO, Kelleen
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